Put Your Own Mask on First: The Trap of Pleasing Everyone

Hi everyone,

We’ve all heard the flight attendant’s instructions:

"Put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others."

It’s a simple rule, but in real life, we often do the opposite.

I’ve caught myself in this trap many times; saying yes to too many things, overcommitting, prioritizing others’ needs while neglecting my own goals and well-being. Whether in personal relationships or professional life, it’s easy to slip into the cycle of people-pleasing at the expense of ourselves.

But here’s the hard truth: If you try to please everyone, you’ll end up exhausted and ineffective.

Why Trying to Please Everyone is a Losing Game

1️⃣ You Can’t Make Everyone Happy
No matter how hard you try, someone will always have a different expectation or opinion. The more you chase approval, the less authentic you become.

2️⃣ It Drains Your Time and Energy
Every unnecessary yes takes away from something truly important—your goals, health, relationships, or peace of mind.

3️⃣ It Creates Resentment
When you constantly put others first while ignoring your own needs, it leads to frustration and burnout. You can’t give your best when you’re running on empty.

As Stephen R. Covey said:
"You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage—pleasantly, smilingly, non-apologetically—to say 'no' to other things. And the way to do that is by having a bigger 'yes' burning inside."

Setting Healthy Boundaries Without Guilt

The key isn’t about being selfish—it’s about being strategic with your time and energy. Here’s how:

✅ Know Your Priorities: Define what truly matters to you, so you can make decisions based on your goals, not others’ expectations.

✅ Learn to Say No (Without Feeling Bad): You don’t owe everyone a yes. A simple "I’d love to help, but I can’t commit to that right now." is enough.

✅ Protect Your Time Like You Protect Others' Time: Treat your personal commitments with the same respect as you do meetings or deadlines.

✅ Accept That Some People Won’t Like It: Not everyone will understand, and that’s okay. You are responsible for your well-being, not their opinions.

As Tony Robbins puts it:
"The quality of your life is the quality of where you spend your time."

A Personal Reflection

I’ve recently realized how often I put my own needs on hold to accommodate others. Whether it’s work, friendships, or even casual commitments, I sometimes stretch myself too thin.

But here’s what I’ve learned: When I protect my time and energy, I actually show up better for others.

I’m working on saying no more often—not because I don’t care, but because I do. Because I want to give my best to the things that truly matter.

Your Turn

Where in your life do you need to set better boundaries? What’s one small way you can protect your time and energy starting today?

📩 Reply to this email or comment below—I’d love to hear your thoughts!

P.S. If you’re ready to reflect on and share your own journey, ✍️ start your newsletter here on Beehiiv.

Thanks for reading!

Selim